Why babies suck. (Except yours, of course.)

I'm a busy little bumblebee, and when I'm not working or drinking or going to concerts or drinking or traveling or drinking I used to be busy doing stuff. Stuff like this:



And this:



And this:



And this:



BUT NOT ANYMORE. You know why? Because my friends are so completely selfish that they won't stop having freaking adorable little babies. So where I once would spend my free time on this:



NOW, I'm busy doing this:



And this:



And this, even though I like the Washington Capitals, NOT the Detroit Red Wings:



And this, even though I like the Washington Capitals, NOT the Buffalo Sabres:



And this, and HOW did I end up with two friends who like the Sabres?



And you want to know the worst part? I HAVE FOUR PREGNANT FRIENDS. I will be knitting baby booties until I die.