Ask not for whom the bone bones; it bones for thee.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?

My sister pushed me off of my bike, and the pedal took a huge chunk of flesh out of my shin. There was also the time she scratched my leg at SEA-TAC so badly it wouldn't stop bleeding until we got to Tokyo. And then there was the time she scratched MY MOTHERFUCKING EYEBALL. What I'm saying is my sister was a little bitch.

2. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?

I want Lost's final season premiere on the television tonight, NOT NINE FUCKING MONTHS FROM NOW.

3. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?

Why yes, I do.

4. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?

My Nintendo Game Boy (the original) and Mega Man III game cartridge.

5. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED:

NewsRadio. And now that I've found every episode online, I WILL NEVER DO A LICK OF WORK AGAIN.

6. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?

That is protected by the attorney-client privilege.

7. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?

No.

8. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?

Myself.

9. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?

Zero.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?

I wear Beauty by Kate Spade because it reminds me of growing up in the South.

11. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?

I'm a sucker for tall, dark, and handsome.

12. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?

I think everyone in the whole wide world knows by now that I would fucking cut a bitch to be funny.

13. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?

Whichever one has the booze in it.

14. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Yesterday I woke up craving a chicken salad sammich like a motherfucker. Right now? A bowl of cereal.

15. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?

That is protected by the attorney-client privilege. Also, my boyfriend.

16. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?

Es-yay.

17. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?

I am obsessed with Marc Savard. I need help. Badly.

18. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?

In fact, those are the only conditions under which I'd venture to fall in love again.

19. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?

SCOOP THE FUCKING LITTER BOX WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN.

20. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?

NOT SCOOPING THE FUCKING LITTER BOX WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN.

21. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S.?

At least once a year, with my next excursion planned for June 26.

22. YOUR WEAKNESSES?

Boys with paperbacks in their back pockets. Also, hockey players apparently.

23. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?

My mother would like me to do something about my giant schnoz, while I would like to do something about my giant forehead. Is there a surgery for that? Or do I need to get hair plugs or something?

24. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?

Heather Anne expertly picked it out.

25. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?

No, but I don't think my boyfriend would be very happy with me if I did.

26. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?

I'm a pretty fair cook.

27. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?

Unless Heather Anne shares her moonshine, suicide is the only option.

28. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?

OH HELL NO.

29. WHERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Two people, in fact.

30. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?

Probably at the end of Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go, which Goodreads tells me I finished on August 22, 2008.

31. ANY BAD HABITS?

I'm really, really, REALLY bad with the returning emails and phone calls thing.

32. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

My boyfriend tells me I don't like other girls, so maybe if there were two of me we'd cancel each other out. Or maybe my boyfriend doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about and I'd be my own BFF forever and ever and ever.

33. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?

I used to interview rock bands. I know a lot of famous people.

34. DO LOOKS MATTER?

Yes. Ugly people need not apply to be my friend. Unless you have a lot of money or a jet pack or something.

35. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?

With violence.

36. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?

I wouldn't be a very good lawyer if I did. And I've won three medals at lawyering, so there you go.

37. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG:

"Poke" by Frightened Rabbit.

38. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?

Gosh, there are so many. Any day I get to see The National (like this Monday!). Halloween. Any day in London. The 4th of July. Whenever I'm in Harvey Cedar's Clam Bar. Triple Crown race day. New Year's Eve. The Tulane Alumni Association annual crawfish boil (next weekend!). Super Bowl Sunday.

39. FAVORITE EXPRESSION?

"That's not torpedo three! That's not torpedo three at all!"