Abigail Interviews Kat

You have approximately two million and four talents. If you had to only be good at one of them, which would you pick?

Mostly they're not talents. Because if anyone who was actually talented in any one of my "talents" went head-to-head with my so-called [life] talents, I would be shamed. Just ask Seth's newest stepmother. ANYWHO, I would pick cooking, because I've been doing it the longest and at this point it requires the least amount of effort. (I don't really have time for effort.)

What's the most money you've spent on clothing and/or shoes? Was it worth it?

Hmm. This is a weird question for me, because I literally still wear clothes I bought in middle school. Which was 20 years ago. Think about that for a second and I'll be by with Windex after your brain explodes.

If you could imagine a tolerable reality show that you would be totally into, what would it be?

It would have to be something mind-numbingly boring, like, "Hey, Let's Watch Kat Collate Even Though She Normally Doesn't Collate!" I don't really understand the question (it's an Abigail question).

What's your favorite video gaming system and your favorite game with it?

The first (and only one of two) game(s) that I ever beat in my entire life was Mega Man 3 for the Nintendo Game Boy [spaces inserted willy-nilly because it's late and I have another full day tomorrow so Google these names your own damn self] so I guess that.

How great is Jennie and Joe's wedding going to be?

Duh, the greetest.

You love books. Is there a preferable kind of binding/length of book that makes reading perfect?

You know what, not really. When we went on the cruise (from hell) Seth suggested I bring along War and Peace because it would be funny (and it was), but I super enjoyed it except for the quote-unquote preachy parts at the end (it's not at all religious preachy). And that book was nearly 2000 pages. Then again, Wuthering Heights is, like, five pages long and I don't much like a single word. So what I'm saying is, surprise me.

Would you ever get a Kindle or other e-reader?

I WOULD! But only because War and Peace was really heavy and I would have appreciated it in, like, smaller volumes. Or on a Kindle.

When is Seth building the Collective club house? I mean, your house?

Seth ain't building shit. He's hiring contractors to build shit. So, whenever that happens.

How often do you learn new words? What are your most favorite recently learned words?

I'm fairly certain the Word of the Day feed has looped back around once or twice. But I did think this was timely: oleaginous - having the nature or qualities of oil.

What's the best part about being a hero?

Having Heather Anne in your corner.

What's the worst part about being a hero?

Hate mail from America (which I'm getting THANKS BP).

I am fairly obsessive about my Winston calendar and sometimes sit back and secretly peek ahead to coming months. Are you like this too, or is tempered by your proximity to the actual cuteness? Are you already planning next year's calendar?

I frequently berate Winston for not being cute enough for next year's calendar. It's like he's purposely making my life miserable and junk.

When and where will your next epic vacation be?

No idea. Everywhere will soon be covered in oil.

What's your greatest ship on TV (or movie)?

I have to say Jack and Kate. Which is weird because everyone hates Jack and I hate Kate.

How organized are your bookmarks in Firefox?

Have you met me?

Describe the perfect weekend (stole this question from you).

Ditto Jennie's answer. Had drinks with quote-unquote Sir, went on a long hike, spent a lovely evening with old friends and their new baby, with lots of home-cooked meals in between.

Tell me about all the ice flavors you've invented.

I'm assuming you mean "ice cream," and the answer is none, because every ice cream flavor has been invented so far as I know.

When will your job give you your life back and what will you do to celebrate?

Basically when I quit. Because I've won the lottery. And then I'm paying off my student loans (and also my friend Jenny's) and then disappearing from the face of the internet. So you might want to start taking applications for my replacement because this totally likely scenario is happening ANY MINUTE NOW.

How often do you look in a mirror each day? (I'm a can't-help-myself as-often-as-possible type person.)

Literally, once. On my way out in the morning. Which is why I GET SO ANGRY when people don't tell other people that they have spinach in their teeth or boogers in their nose or smooshed bug guts across their foreheads (this happened to me!). (I mean, I spent TEN HOURS with big guts smeared across my forehead and not one goddamned person said anything and I hope they all die horrible painful disfiguring deaths.)

Ahem.

Why do you love farming?

Because it's less stressful than lawyering.