Age 16

2/9/2001
I’m at Bethel right now visiting. It’s really cool--I love it. Not so much the school itself but college in general. The whole concept excites me and its so fun. I love being on my own and being so close to everything and the time schedule. Its awesome. Ann, on the other hand, said she wants to live in a black hole. Believable. I totally love it! I’m not sure if I like this actual school so much. All the girls seem really done up. I mean, there were like 5 girls curling their hair in the dorm this morning. I was like whatever. There are lots of cute boys. I love boys. We had a dance party last night and it was awesome. I miss boys. I wish I was a senior. Well, I gotta go catch my communications class. [12 hours later] Okay...the girls we are staying with are obsessed with boys. Krysta has a boyfriend whom she always talks about and Stacey is obsessed with Zack--the boy with whom her relationship is undefined.

I talked to Jason tonight. It was so much fun. I love the kid. We have so much fun. I told him I had the song “Head over Feet” stuck in my head. [then I wrote out all the lyrics]

2/15/2001
I’m gonna kiss Jason tomorrow. Oh, man, I can’t wait. The thing is, I don’t know how to kiss. I’m going to sleep now. I can’t wait.

2/17/2001
I didn’t get to kiss him. First of all, this morning, well it was morning and I just didn’t want to kiss him in the daylight or something. It was just so open. So then I made sure I went out with him tonight but then Luke came too (I did get to meet his girlfriend, though, possibly more on that later) and I hate being with J when Luke is there. So we went to the movie and afterwards the girls split (turn-a-bout is tomorrow and they need their beauty rests) and we had time to kill so after driving aimlessly around Northbrook we finally went to Jason’s house where I played pool and sucked at it and got very bored and they continued to play for a while and Jason figured out I was bored so he suggested we go play a computer game in his room. He has practically naked women calendars. That totally made me uncomfortable and I totally didn’t like it but I didn’t say anything but I’ll bring that up later.

I discuss whether or not I will kiss Jason for the rest of the month, discussing nothing else except our oft conversations with each other on the subject. On 3/2/2001 I decide I can’t be friends with him because I’m “too jealous.” The next entry on 3/4/2001 is a pro/con list to help my friend Cassie decide which of her two crushes to go to turn-about with. John has a nice voice, Richie has great hair. However, John has a “gross tongue.” On 3/5/2001 I launch into a solilique on how “I can’t believe I’m breaking up with Jason.” I write more of the same until 6/3/2001 when I declare I’m in love with someone else. Yeah, man, those Bethel girls are so obsessed with boys.