I don't really drink a lot, which is just as well because I have a pretty obsessive personality and am already unable to separate reality from fantasy. (See: television couples, Harry Potter.) When I do drink, however, I always have The Collective there to cheer me on. Well, Kat! and Jennie! mostly cheer me on. Abigail! just texts asking me to send her an email. For some reason she loves getting incoherent emails from her friends. Seriously, any time any of us drinks too much and informs the rest of us via text, Abigail! texts right back saying, "Write me some emails!" I'll be she has a pretty stellar collection.
The last 5 times that I have been inebriated I have engaged in the following activities:
1) Folding origami cranes — or, rather letting Abigail! fold my cranes because my fingers weren't working properly.
2) Trolling the Internet for L Word spoilers and correcting grammar in the forums.
3) Writing poetry.
To wit:
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
A shoe
A shoe
A shoe
Gross
4) Writing more poetry.
To wit:
Fame, I'm gonna live forever
Actually, that's kind of lame
Fame!
Dancing won't get you to heaven
I know because I saw it on Footloose
Fame!
5) Playing Super Mario World and madly texting Abigail! to say things like: "Effing Yoshi!"
You should also know that when I drink I become the politest person in the world, more polite even than I am on a normal day, which is saying something. I talk really softly to overcompensate so I don't yell like regular drunks. I apologize profusely for events I didn't even cause. And even when standing alone, I form an orderly queue of one.
Yes, alcohol practically makes me English.
Maybe I should drink more.
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