Tips for avoiding a hangover

Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. It doesn't count if it's not water, and you better start early. Get in your eight glasses before you even start drinking. Then, when you start to feel like maybe you can't cross a room without assistance, pause your drinking to hydrate again. I've found that making yourself drink another glass of water before drinking anything else prolongs the buzz and prevents the hangover. Really.

Don't pass out.Try to keep yourself awake as long as possible. This is challenging sometimes, but the pay off is worth it. The less inebriated you are when you go to bed, the less inebriated you'll be when you wake up. And the less your body will punish you.

When do you pass out take ibuprofen and drink another glass of water. If I know I'm going to get drunk, I like to be prepared and put a water bottle and a small bottle of vitamin I in my purse. Then, when I feel myself slipping into sleep, I find my bag, take my drugs, and find a nice corner to sleep it off.

When you wake up to pee take more ibuprofen and drink more water.

Or: drink during the day. This really limits the chances of passing out. In fact, you can even get wasted, take a short nap, and be showered and changed before five o'clock. Now THAT is efficiency.

When you groggily wake up because the daylight IS TOO BRIGHT drink some water, take some ibuprofen, and get your car keys back so you can

Buy greasy hangover food.

That said: I broke ALL of these rules at TCQ. I didn't drink enough water throughout the night; instead, I drank jack&coke (to chase the tequila shots). I crawled into bed, did a little bit of drunk texting, and passed out, fully dressed. I did manage to find some ibuprofen in the middle of the night, but it was too late. The next morning was AWFUL. I couldn't move, until I finally found myself steering the porcelin motor boat. It wasn't until I bread in me that I could even put back together the pieces of a detour in the hotel lobby the night before regarding three smarmy British men. Then Jennie and I had to get ourselves to the airport and onto airplanes which was.. excruciating. Going through security doesn't usually bother me, but OHMIGOD standing in a line for twenty minutes when I couldn't even stand up straight? The worst. Eventually, I made it to my gate where there was lots of open space and free internet so I literally camped out under my jacket and relaxed. Then I ate some more bread. Oh yeah.

Never stop eating bread.