There's only two things I do really well, sweetheart, and Google Reader's the other one.

When my family complains that they never hear from me, I'm always like, "Well get on Google Reader, then." Because: From your 119 subscriptions, over the last 30 days you read 6,617 items, starred 47 items, shared 41 items, and emailed 97 items.

Here are some of my favorites.

1) The Onion, "I'm not one of those 'love thy neighbor' Christians"

My faith in the Lord is about the pure, simple values: raising children right, saying grace at the table, strictly forbidding those who are Methodists or Presbyterians from receiving communion because their beliefs are heresies, and curing homosexuals. That's all. Just the core beliefs. You won't see me going on some frothy-mouthed tirade about being a comfort to the downtrodden.

2) Gap Christmas Commercials. The one with Rainn Wilson and Selma Blair is so best. It's one of my favorite winter songs, and the gender role reversal is awesome.



3) The Onion News Network: "Should the Government Stop Dumping Money into a Giant Hole?"




4) Toothpaste for Dinner



5) LOL Cat Bible (Thanks to Lynnie for this one!)

'Roun dis tiyem, Caesar Augustus wuz like, "I can has cenzus?" ('Coz while Quirinius was Teh Boz of Syria, is invisible census!) And all teh doodz went home for teh saying, "I is heer!" So Joseph went from Naz'reth to Judeeah to Bethlehemm whar David wuz bornededed, 'coz David wuz hiz graete-graete gran-daddie, An Mary went wif him, 'coz she was gonna be married wif him an she was preggerz. When wuz time for teh baybee, it wuz a boy, so he wuz wrapd in blanket like burrito an placd him in fud dish, cuz innkeeper wuz liek, no room here kthxbye!