People with weird food habits. I have some seriously bizarre food situations in my life. Like, let's talk about pickles. I love pickles. But I cannot abide pickle seeds; they gross me right the heck out. I prefer baby dills because they are completely seedless, but if it's hamburger chips I need, I'll get the smallest ones from the jar 'cause they came from toddler cucumbers soaked in evil, so: no seeds yet. If someone gives me a pickle spear, I just cut the seeds out of it, and if someone gives me one of those huge fat concession stand dill pickles, I just eat the outside like corn on the cob.
I will only eat french fries if they have ketchup on them and I will only eat cheeseburgers if they don't have ketchup on them, but I can only eat french fries if I dip one fry at time in the ketchup. Usually, I just tear the top off a package and dip them down in there one-by-one. Also, I will only eat ketchup if it's room temperature. Sometimes I have to microwave it. Cold ketchup is the Devil's condiment.
Oh, and ice. I love ice. Ask Abigail, who told me at Chipotle one time to go back and fix her drink with the amount of ice a normal person would put in a cup. But I only like restaurant ice. I'll use home freezer ice if I have to, but only in lemonade or something, never in soda.
So, I like people with weird food things because it makes me feel less alone.
Pet people.
I'm with Schilbo on this one. I literally never get tired of pictures of pets and stories about pets. If you've got a cute kid, I'm like, "Hey, cute kid." But if you've got a pet and you let that pet snoozle you and cuddle you and lick you on the noggin, I'm like, "Awwwwwww!" And then we can be friends forever and ever.
Midnight movie people.
Midnight movie people are my people. They're folks who actually cannot wait an extra 11 hours to see a movie, you know? And they just love the excitement of being in a crowd of people who love a thing the same way they love a thing. And a lot of times people dress up like in wizard costumes and stuff. And they laugh at all the best parts and gasp at all the best parts and when Harry kissed Cho that one time, there were some catcalls.
Remember that couple of years when there was like a new Potter book and/or movie coming out every nine months? Man, those were good times. I remember my dad scoffing at me back then and I was like, "Dad, everyone should have at least one thing they're willing to sleep outside all night for!"
And I still believe it.
TV recap people.
Let me just point to Ashley for this one. Ashley has endeared herself to me for all eternity because of her way about TV. I love people who read TV recaps and write TV recaps and rehash all of everything about TV shows. I'm not talking about mindless channel flipping here (which is fine, of course); I'm talking about TV as a subject! The very best subject!
People who think I'm awesome because they love me, not the other way around.
The thing about writing on the Internet for a living is that you're up for critique by the whole world every single day, and the more places you write, the more open you are for judgment. It's enough to turn a person into a mental basket or a megalomaniac, depending on the day. It reminds me of when I used to play basketball, actually. Like, strangers and stuff wanting to be your bestie or kiss your ass just because you've got a nice cross-over or jumpshot. And I mean, it always feels good when someone tells you you're great. "You do this one thing awesomely, I love you."
But you know what's better? When someone loves you first and then thinks you're great. "I love you -- oh, and that thing you wrote/said/designed was pretty cool too." My great-grandmother Annie B. Cox used to frame the artwork I brought home from school, and it was shit. I always used to look at it hanging on the wall and think, "That's the fugliest pumpkin I've ever seen. She must not love it because it's good; she must love it because it's mine."
That's good to know, you know? It's freeing.
People who quote movies.
You're the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy. Who the hell am I? I'm your new best friend, is what.
People who are Collective people.
I love you guys.
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25 comments:
collective people are the best people. i want to make out with everyone who comes here.
I do too!
Make out party!
I have weird food things, too. Like, if I'm eating chips or pretzels or something, I have to eat all the broken ones first. And I eat the crusts off my sandwich first so the best part (the middle part) is the only part left. And I have to cut my sandwiches in unequal halves and eat the smaller half first. And I save the best fries to eat last. I'm going to stop now.
Which fries do you think are the best ones?
Well, they have to be not too soggy and not too hard (heh).
I will not eat a soggy french fry. If I'm in a restaurant, I'll leave every soggy fry on the plate and hope that it brings shame to the establishment. If I'm really ticked, I'll spell stuff with the soggy fries, like '666', which would be impossible to do with non-soggy fries. You can only conjure the number of the beast with soggy fries. I think that pretty much says it all right there.
i eat all the french fries. every single one of them. i love french fries.
Sadly, we can not be friends :)
I love pickles, but my favorites are the huge deli dill pickles!
I can't quote a movie, outside of Robin Hood Men in Tights or Three Amigos, to save my life.
Though, I love the you that we learn, rather than love you for your writing.. .and.. I have the bestest puppydoggy ever who gives hugs.
So he is as always, my saving grace :)
that last 'me' is SG.
Soggy french fries doused with cold ketchup is what they serve IN HELL.
Sarah, of course we're friends! You can eat the gross pickles and I'll eat the good ones! (Hee!)
Weird food things: Check.
Pet person: Check.
DaughterwhoisaMidnightMoviePerson(andthusIgethalfcredit): Check.
Person who loves you first: Check.
Person who quotes (some)movies: Check.
Collective person: Double Check.
OK, ok... admittedly I'm not a TV recap person, but I like a lot of TV recap people, so maybe I can do some extra credit work on the weird food thing to make up for it?
Shari, you're such an overachiever. You're my people through and through, and I'm your people too!
Oh my lord, over the past few months I have become entirely addicted to TV recaps! I already had the french fry (thin, crispy, salted, vinegared, and ketchuped) and Heather-Anne-as-a-person addictions. Sadly, I'm not partial to pickles. :(
I'm with Kat, I'll eat every. single. fry. because I love them that much: soggy, burnt, crisped, tortured, even those ones with the bad potato spots on them. And with any temperature of ketchup, anytime.
One of my weird food things, though, is loving Raisin Bran but hating the raisins. So I pick all of the raisins out. Just buy the kind without raisins, you say? But it's not as good!
OMG!!!
I HATE pickle seeds!
They are disgusting, and I always cut all the seedy parts out of my pickles.
Kell, recaps are magic! Especially if you love TV on DVD like us, because there's a like a zillion of them at TWoP just waiting to be devoured!
Jamie, can you send me the raisins from your Raisin Bran? I don't like the bran, but I do like the raisins. But not raisins from a raisin box, only the kind from cereal.
Amanda, your aversion is correct.
jamie - so right about the plain bran flakes. they totally need the sugar that falls off the raisin bran raisins.
(nice foreshadow to my post tomorrow, btw.)
Heather Anne - you can totally have the raisins. Even as someone who hates raisins, I can imagine those would be pretty tasty compared to the plain ones.
Kat - Ooh, foreshadowing.
I am a midnight movie person. I LOVE going to movies on opening night at 12:01 or whatever. I can't get enough of the energy in a midnight movie theater. It's completely unlike anything else. Love it love it love it.
I also quote movies incessantly. For that reason, my parents hate me.
Joe, as usual, you are so right. I feel like midnight movie energy is the kind that could cause a collective hallucination that might start a worldwide religion. Which is to say, of course, that one day fanboys and fangirls will RULE THE WORLD.
This very afternoon, I was THIS CLOSE to eating a french fry that had fallen on the floor at a fast food restaurant, such is my love for them. True story.
I am in all those categories. I AM THE BEST. (Was that megalomania?)
I qualify for a few of these.
Food issues: I'm pretty normal, except that I cannot deal with it when stuff gets on my food to make it soggy. People always try to put ice cream on cake or pie. NO! I CANNOT HANDLE IT!! I ALWAYS request ice cream and cake to be in separate dishes. A meal that requires gravy on something? Put the gravy ON THE SIDE. Salad dressing? ON THE SIDE.
Pet stories: Oh so many about my cats! Like, Hobbes is a secret ninja kitty who can OPEN DOORS. Like, turning door knobs. WITHOUT opposable thumbs! Or how about some "aaawwww" moments? Both of my cats took care of me for a few months, sleeping on my bed and making sure I ate regularly, when I was pregnant and my husband had gone to live in another state. And in my darkest time, when my life crashed down around me and I spent hours daily crying on the sofa, Touchy would mew and hover in concern and lick the tears, while Hobbes crouched protectively on the pillow at my head.
Loving Heather Anne: Someday perhaps we will meet and then I can truly love you for who you are!
I recently told my sister that she has to get her license this summer because she's the only one who will go with me to the HP midnight showing in the fall. I haven't gone before, and am determined to make it to one.
I quote movies (and TV shows: West Wing, esp.) all the damn time, but hardly anyone knows what I am talking about. It's nice to find people who do, which is one of the many reasons why I am definitely a Collective person.
Midnight showings are the best. Always and forever.
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